You Are Who You Are, and I Love You Just the Way You Are

Today is Rachelle's birthday. She is our oldest child. I wrote this for her awhile back. If you are the parent of a child with autism or another challenge that has changed what used to be your "normal," you can probably relate to this.

You were our miracle baby. You were an answer to prayer. You were a bundle of joy that changed us into a family.

I dreamed about you right before you were born. I saw your face. God prepared my heart for your wide smile surprise of a cleft lip. When I saw your face, I fell in love immediately. You were my precious gift from God.

You are who you are, and I love you just the way you are.

You had to have lots of doctor’s appointments and surgeries, and I remember after your first surgery when your face changed, your smile was “normal,” but I grieved for the face I fell in love with that first day. It took a whole minute to fall in love with your new face though. We were thankful the doctors could help you so you could eat better.

You are who you are, and I love you just the way you are.

You were the most bubbly, outgoing little girl I ever met. You never met a stranger. You had no fear. Your personality was full of life and fun. I would sing, and you would dance. We would laugh and play. You loved to play the “drums” on plastic tubs.

Then, one day, you went away. You were still here. You looked the same, but that bubbly, outgoing little girl was gone. You were about four years old, and suddenly, overnight I had a new daughter. You were afraid of everything. You didn’t like people. You struggled with anyone outside our family. Foods and clothes you loved before bothered you, and you refused to eat most foods.

You are who you are, and I love you just the way you are.

At first, I wondered what I did wrong. The doctors eventually told us you had autism. But in between, we just wondered what happened. Where did you go?

I grieved for my bubbly, energetic little girl who never met a stranger. But it took me about a minute to fall in love with my new daughter who needed help to face a scary world. We would walk this road together.

You are who you are, and I love you just the way you are.

You are amazing. I see you tackle your fears and overcome the obstacles your mind puts in your way. I see you make friends carefully, but you make friends deeply. You love animals and drawing. You are creative and smart. And every now and then, when you are totally comfortable around someone, I see a glimpse of that funny, bubbly girl I knew when you were little.

You are who you are, and I love you just the way you are.