Repentance, Rationalizing, and Revival

I was just praying and really pleading with God to renew my mind and heart. Sometimes I feel so far from Him and from who He intends for me to be. In that prayer I realized how easy it is to come to a loving, accepting, merciful, generous Father like our God and truly repent of our attitudes and failures. We know that we grieve His heart, but we also know His heart is big enough to forgive and restore. As long as we have a humble heart that wants to be right with Him, repentance is the easy part.

It's the walking in that repentance that is hard. Fighting the same old temptations. Wanting to snuggle with our pet sins and fears. These are where the tough times are. It's so hard to reject those and stand firm in our convictions.

I know, true repentance includes walking the right way, but let's face it...we fail. Even Paul wrote about it in Romans 7.

A friend has written her story, and I was reading it. In her story she talks about asking for God's help over and over to overcome her challenges. She would hold out her hands wanting God to drop the answer into them when the answer wasn't getting something from God; the answer was God.

As I was praying and wrestling with my own heart, I realize she is so right. I need God to be my strength because I am so so weak. I need God to be my strong tower where I can hide from my own sinful pride and my pet sins. I need God to be my mighty warrior when I face the fears I've used as crutches for avoiding painful, difficult things. He is our all in all. He is the missing piece in our emptiness. He is the treasure we seek.

In our strength, we can do nothing. The Bible tells us that in John 15. But in Christ, we can do anything because He is our strength. Nothing is impossible for God. Nothing. Not even overcoming the same old stumbling blocks that have become my comfort zone. In Christ we are not just overcomers; we are more than conquerors. He demolishes our sad rationalizations. He tears down the strongholds we've allowed in our lives. He uproots the bitterness and pain in our relationships.

We don't just serve an awesome, mighty God; we rely on Him for our every need.

I recently watched a video of a pastor who is gay. He realized he could not follow God and follow his own sexual desires. He chose to be celibate and follow God. I wonder if I could be that loyal and strong. How many of us when faced with a painful decision of denying ourselves so greatly would choose to stand with Christ in obedience, not rationalizing our choices and sin?

We do it all the time. Maybe it's not a sexual issue, but look at us. We struggle with the lusts of the flesh whether it's for an improper sexual encounter or a piece of chocolate cake that we know we should not have or letting hurtful words fly because we don't feel like controlling our tongues. Maybe we rationalize that it's not that bad or that it's not hurting anyone else. But sin is like cancer in the church. When we remain unrepentant, we hurt ourselves and the collective body of believers we fellowship with. We weaken our testimony and the work God is doing.

I want to please God and walk closely with Him. I want to leave behind any hindrance to that relationship. I want to get rid of the burdens that keep me from being able to do all God has called me to do. And part of that, a big part of that, is my physical health. If Jesus Christ is Lord of my life, He must be Lord of this as well.

I struggle. I fail. But I am praying for victory and for strength. I am praying for wisdom. Jesus is the answer.

My charismatic friends use the term "pressing in" or "leaning in" to God. I keep picturing a child walking with a parent through a bitter snowstorm. The cold wind hurts and stings. So, the child presses into the parent as shelter against the storm. They find warmth and protection as well as help in walking through it all. I think that is what I need to learn to do more of...pressing in to God when the storms and temptations come my way, knowing that without Him, I would go my usual way.

I desperately want revival and healing for my life, my church, and for everyone. It has to start with my own heart—our own hearts. If we harbor pride, fear, or any other sin, we hinder what God could be doing in our lives. I don't want to stand in God's way from accomplishing all He wants to do in my life.

As the saying goes, "He is either Lord of all or not Lord at all."